Catching Up!

So many things to talk about.  So let me start with an update of the young lady that AWOLed.  she is back at the home and getting ready to have a baby and very soon.  Tammie has been joining me at the house on Mondays to help this young lady walk thru this time and have a healthy delivery of this beautiful little man who is coming into this world.
Let me back up a bit and share with you the reason this young lady came back.  She was scared to give birth and wanted to be safe.  So she made the choice to leave the boyfriend and her mom and come back to the group home, where she feels safe.  Tammie says, it is the nature of the expectant mother to find a safe place as she gets closer to delivering.  I am just glad she was able to come back. (more later on this subject).  Now she is back and her face does not have the stress lines as they did when she first got back to the house.  She is working with Tammie, a Doula, and wanting to remember this time with pictures of her belly.  I am thankful she now has an opportunity to have a wonderful experience of giving birth.

Onto another story, you know the more later :-).
This week I had the opportunity to into one of the shelters we are in association with.  this shelter is not down town, it is not a big building, but it is in a neighborhood just like yours.  It is a safe place for teens and children are placed for a short time while other arrangements are made.  Sometimes this is the only safe place these kids know.  this particular house was for teen girls and the stories of these young ladies will break your heart.  They come in with nothing and get a bed.  not only to they get a bed but they get the opportunity to experience a safe home.   As we were talking with the house manager she told me the story of one of the young ladies at the house.  She is the oldest of her family and was the caregiver to her young siblings.  Mom was not capable of be that person.  Because of an incident she was removed from her siblings and placed in this shelter.  On this 16 year old's bed you will find 3 little baby dolls, all gently wrapped in their blankets and safely placed in a safe place on the bed.  This is the only was she knows how to deal with this nurturing instinct she has now that she is not with her siblings.
Another story we were told, was about another young lady who decided to leave, because space is so limited her bed was filled quickly.  Soon the house manager received a phone call from this young lady who wanted to come back.  The house manager had to tell her there was no room, she would have to wait.  Sometimes they would have to wait in juvienile hall until a bed opens up. 

The number of kids are growing and the beds available are not enough to provide places for all of them. there is a need out there.  a need for beds, for homes, for caring people who will be a friendly face, a family, a helping hand.  Some of the kids have nothing, not even shoes.

What can you do to help out? 

The start of a New Year!!!

Last Month, one of the young ladies I have been working with decided to AWOL after we found out that she was not turning 18 but 17 years old.  It was a sad day when I was told that she left. Iit made me start thinking of ways to change what I am doing?  What impact am I making?  How can I effectively help facilitate a mind change in the teens I work with?
These fantastic ladies have so much potential that some of them never grab a hold of.  It is time, now that I have the relationships, it is now time to talk about the hard stuff.  It is time to help them start thinking of their future.  Even if they get angry on the inside because they don't want to deal. It is Time!!!

I got word today that the young lady who AWOL ed is coming back!!!  I am excited!!!  I still have the opportunity to help facilitate change!!

Stay tuned for updates.  It is a new year and I am determined to see these young people succeed!

One Bright Star!

For the past three years OCJ has joined with the church I attend Fountain of Life International to provide a family Christmas Experience for the foster children we work with. It may be a busy time, the days approaching the event but it is totally worth the hours.  Hours of matching gifts with names and ages of young people.  Some we have met before and others we only know their age and gender.   The whole time while putting gifts together, I am praying that God shows me what they need and like.  My goal is for each young person to get something that fits with them.  This year was a bit easier with some of the gifts because I have met more of the kids we are giving gifts to. 
Sunday morning on the day of the event, I was finishing wrapping the gifts and getting things ready. As I was wrapping one of the boys homes presents, some of the items got a bit mixed up and I was not sure what I had done foe each boy.  So I fixed as best as I remembered and prayed that each got what they needed and wanted. 
the Christmas party was a fun event of bowling and fellowship with the kids.  Because we are working with group homes and things change all the time, we had to search and find the gifts of some of the kids that came with another house.  That part was a bit crazy, but part of working with group homes.  Everyone got their presents, and I started to mingle with the different homes. One of the boys in a home got a journal and pen and was almost in tears because that is what he is interested in and he couldn't believe that we knew what to give him.
Monday as we (the OCJ Staff) were discussing the event, it was told about a young man who lost his mp3 player a few days earlier.  At the party he received a new mp3 player and he started to cry.  I heard that I have to say that even though we may not know every one of the kids, God does and he cares for each one.  he knows their needs and if we listen we can help meet their needs.

Thanks for sharing these young people with me and have a Very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 

Living Without

Sometimes words fail me as I try to express what I see.
Today I had the opportunity to drop off a beautiful 9 ft Christmas tree to one of the shelters we work with.
I was not away of the how different a shelter was from a group home.  The shelter is supposed to be temporary until the child is placed with a family or in a group home. 
When a child arrives at the shelter, they have nothing, no family, no clothes, nothing, just what they are wearing at the time.  Their rooms are bare, just something else to tell them they have nothing.  Nothing that reminds them that there is hope, that they can dream.  Nothing but blank walls and no doors.

This just reminds me of the need.  These young people need people they can count on.  People to help change a house to a home. 
Is that person you? Not sure? Here are a few steps to see if this is a fit for you.

Volunteering

The first step requires in an honest self evaluation to determine the amount and depth of your involvement.  Ask yourself, “How do I want to get involved?” The answer to this question will assist you identifying the amount of time and effort you are able to provide within the time frame of your current work and personal life schedule.
–        What are your strengths?
 –        What are your passions?
–        What does your current schedule allow?
–        What can I do to make the most impact?
 An honest evaluation of these questions and your ability to identify these areas of involvement will be every foster care and every non-profit agency’s greatest ally. The goal is to match your passions and strength with the agency of your choice or individual child’s greatest corresponding need. This will also keep you from over committing, leaving a lack in services provided, resulting in a bad experience for everyone involved. The reality is that the need always outweighs the availability of caring adult volunteers, resulting in volunteers being stretched to thin or placed in an area you feel uncomfortable in or unqualified for. Be upfront in communicating, this is where I would like to get involved and the amount of time I have to volunteer. 

Sound like something you are interested contact us at ocj1@offcampusjams.org.

Thanksgiving Holiday

Well Thanksgiving has come and gone.  This year I had the opportunity to attend 3 Thanksgiving dinners. 
The 1st dinner was held at my church with  wonderful group homes in attendance.  It was a great night of food and family game time.  The noise level was so high, you had to leave the room to hear yourself think :-).
It was a great night!

The 2nd Thanksgiving dinner was a little smaller at a club house with a group of friends wanting to get involved with our group home families.  We had a great time of movies, food, billiards, and fire pits. I met some amazing young ladies that are new the group home family. The evening was enjoyed by all.

The 3rd was with my family on Thanksgiving day.A fun time playing games and eating turkey :-)

How was your Thanksgiving?

Dealing with Loss

Last night as I go to pick up the young lady I have been working with, I notice that she is crying.
I find out that one of babies in the house has been placed with a foster family in Tuscon.  She will be leaving today.  Exciting news for this little one, hard news for those who have seen her grow and helped take care of her for the past year and a half.
This may not be the loss due to death , but it is loss do to separation.  It can have the same affect.
These kids deal with this continually.  One person moves in, they are there for a while then they are gone.
When this is all you know, some get numbed by the process and feel nothing, the lucky ones feel every hurt and learn  that loving people is okay even when we don't have them around.

hard stuff to deal with at a young age.

Looking Back

I have been looking back and have realized that I have been going to this particular home of young women, every week, for a year and a half now.  I have had the opportunity to speak into the lives of 13 young ladies and 19 young ones during this time.  It is amazing how fast time goes by.  In a year and a half there have been 32+ kids come thru this one house.  Some stay a few years until the age out, some are there for just a few weeks, some get transferred to other group homes for one reason or another.
These 13 young ladies, with their babies, have left an impression in my heart. Some I have maintained communication with as they have aged out of the system.  Some I can not find or do not have a way to communicate with.  They all have their stories and all are unique and special.  I can't wait to hear about the great things they do.
I hear from the staff at the house that the girls look forward to my coming.  They get their chores done so they can participate in whatever we do that night.  It doesn't matter what we do, color, play games, exercise, paint, create, talk, watch a movie, swim, carve pumpkins, decorate for the holidays, and the list goes on.  They just know I care enough to come and so they look forward to it.

What difference can you make?  What do you have to offer? Let me know I would love to hear.